Don't really know what I'm doing, just seemed a good idea at the time. Hope this will be helpful to me and maybe to you too
Monday 2 January 2012
2012
well here we are 2012. I feel like I am just carrying on as before. Nothing has changed in my life apart from the fact my beloved is no longer waling by my side. I am so scared that when something changes I wont be able to deal with it.
Thank you for visiting my blog. I fear I haven't been blogging much of late and not much anymore about grieving. I see you are a relatively "fresh" widow ... everything is still so raw. I am 1 1/2 years out now and I look back at see how very raw I was a year ago ... and I thought I was doing not bad back then!!! The widow sites are great, especially at first. People who understand.
I see you are in question of your husband's spiritual state at the time of his death. I had never considered that scenario until another recent widow in our town brought it up. My own D was a believer I had no doubt and that was a comfort. But we can only trust God for he is JUST in all He does.
Many people still get nervous around me when I bring up D's name.
I knew that self pity would be a big problem for me so I was careful to keep on top of that. I also held on to the scripture about putting on the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness. Sometimes hard to do but really works. Took focus off of me and put my focus back on Jesus who really is my Rock and Fortress. I also like the scripture that He is a champion to the widow and held on to that all through the legal stuff.
I kept fear at bay but taking one day at a time (at first one hour at a time). Looking back, God had been so good to amazingly work out the details with little effort on my part other than moving forward.
We married later in life and had no children. Sometimes I worry about getting old so my new scripture to hang on to ...
"Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.". ~ Isaiah 46:4 ~
I have made you and I will carry you. Whoot! What a promise ... especially when applied to us widows!
I've added you to my google view and will try and keep up with your progress. I think writing one's experience is really beneficial.
Hi Linda,
ReplyDeleteThank you for visiting my blog. I fear I haven't been blogging much of late and not much anymore about grieving. I see you are a relatively "fresh" widow ... everything is still so raw. I am 1 1/2 years out now and I look back at see how very raw I was a year ago ... and I thought I was doing not bad back then!!! The widow sites are great, especially at first. People who understand.
I see you are in question of your husband's spiritual state at the time of his death. I had never considered that scenario until another recent widow in our town brought it up. My own D was a believer I had no doubt and that was a comfort. But we can only trust God for he is JUST in all He does.
Many people still get nervous around me when I bring up D's name.
I knew that self pity would be a big problem for me so I was careful to keep on top of that. I also held on to the scripture about putting on the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness. Sometimes hard to do but really works. Took focus off of me and put my focus back on Jesus who really is my Rock and Fortress. I also like the scripture that He is a champion to the widow and held on to that all through the legal stuff.
I kept fear at bay but taking one day at a time (at first one hour at a time). Looking back, God had been so good to amazingly work out the details with little effort on my part other than moving forward.
We married later in life and had no children. Sometimes I worry about getting old so my new scripture to hang on to ...
"Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.". ~ Isaiah 46:4 ~
I have made you and I will carry you. Whoot! What a promise ... especially when applied to us widows!
I've added you to my google view and will try and keep up with your progress. I think writing one's experience is really beneficial.